Let's be real. Talking about quitting your job usually comes with a bunch of notations from your friends and whānau about why it is a bad idea...
This is usually because making such a decision flies against the 'norms' of what we're supposed to do with our life.
"The economy is bad - it's not a good time"
"How will your pay your bills?"
"What if you can't get another job?"
Well I'm calling BS.
Sometimes, you just have to leave. Not because you've ticked every box on a sensible checklist, but because your wairua is begging you to.
That’s why I quit.
IGNORING THE GUT
It was a slow, creeping feeling that I was on the wrong path and I was no longer aligned. The logic was all there: good salary, a great boss, flexible working arrangements, fantastic team, short commute, mahi aligned to my values. On paper, it was… AH-MAY-ZING!!
But (in the context of two particularly challenging years leading up to my decision), I was stressed, run-down, empty and broken. It wasn't the jobs fault - it was an accumulation of a crap tonne of shitty things that had compounded together. I knew something had to give - and my first attempt to fix it, was to ghost MindKai.
BAD IDEA! In hindsight I now realise it was one of the things that kept me happy, balanced and excited about life! It shouldn't have been surprising... after all, it is my PASSION! I finally realised that letting this go had actually added to the aforementioned 'crap tonne of shitty things' that were compounding together.
The glaringly obvious thing to let go of - was the job that sucked up a big whack of my time and that I had lost my passion for. Problem was, I was using all this external logic to talk myself into staying:
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"It's a stable paycheck."
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"What else would I even do?"
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"It's not that bad."
- "You are so lucky to have this job - people would kill for it."
Sound familiar? We use logic to justify staying in situations that actually make us unhappy. We try to think our way out of a feeling - because going to work is what we're supposed to do.
But the feeling is the data. The dread on Sunday night, the lack of excitement, the feeling that you're slowly dissapearing at work - that's all the information you need.
In fact, I recently read 'Rich Dad Poor Dad' by Robert Kiyosaki (though I'm not keen on his love of Trump), I did take away some learnings around his talks about the 'Cashflow Quadrant.' Turns out I was the classic 'E' – the Employee, trading my time for money and my dreams for security. My gut finally screamed out that it was time to build something of my own. In other words - I realised I was no longer willing to be an employee of my own life and I needed a promotion to CEO!
And yes, finding the time to actually read books like this is a pretty sweet new perk of this journey I'm on!
THE BIG DECISION
The moment I made the decision "I'm doing this" - it wasn't logical. It was a feeling of profound relief (quickly followed by "what the F are you doing?!"). But it was out in the air - I'd done it... there was no backing out.
As the role started getting advertised and I began to close out my projects and draft handover notes I went on an emotional rollercoaster. One day I was revelling in my decision and full of excitement for my next chapter. The next day I was contemplating rescinding my resignation and pretending like I never quit at all!
That's because the anxiety didn't magically vanish. The "how" was still a giant question mark - though at it's core, I had shifted from "I'm trapped" to "I'm free." I had chosen myself. I had chosen to trust that feeling in my chest over the spreadsheet in my head.
So, what happened next? As the last day loomed, I honestly have to admit that I was in denial. I don't think I had truly contemplated what life was going to be like when I didn't have to drive into work the following week.
Luckily, I had a trip to Tāhuna (Queenstown) planned with whānau and a couple of other things which kept my hinengaro from heading into melt-down mode!
And low and behold - life just rolled on. I honestly think, I have never been as busy as I have been in the last three months. All those jobs at home were getting ticked off (you know, the ones I had put off for the past three years because I never had the time!). I fixed my wardrobe cupboards, cleaned out the cupboards, cleared out the garage and storage space, built a fort for my son, planned an epic birthday party for 'said son', landscaped and planted out a garden... and the list goes on!
It wasn't just the 'to do list' that got attention. I started carving out time in my day to read books and expand my mindset and knowledge base, I started enjoying cooking meals and eating healthy, and started exercising and moving my body. I started connecting more with the environment, learning kupu Māori, practicing more rongoā Māori in my daily life, and saying "yes" to playing with my son. Bit by bit, I have poured aroha into all dimensions of my health.
YOU CAN DO IT TOO!
If you're in the same spot - here’s my non-faffy, straight-to-the-point advice:
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Plan for the change. This wasn't an out of the blue decision - it had been coming for some time! So, like a good girl guide - I prepared for it... squirrelling away a bit of putea each month for the eventual 'rainy day'.
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Review your budgets. Yes I know - utterly boring (but necessary). I looked at what was coming in and what was going out. I then made a game plan of how I could reduce the 'out' column so that what was coming in would be enough to pay the bills!
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Stop trying to figure it ALL out. You won't have all the answers before you leave, so don't talk yourself out of it - just take the first step and trust the process.
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Listen to the feeling, not just the thoughts. Your body knows before your brain does. That anxiety? That restlessness? Listen to it. What is it trying to tell you? I could name 101 tohu I received from my own self and my tūpuna (who started ramping up the messaging when I refused to listen). Don't go there... the tohu will only get worse and more hardcore!
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Your intuition is a valid business tool. Trusting my gut was the best career decision I ever made. It's not fluff; it's intelligence.
WHERE TO NOW?
Quitting my job wasn't the end of the story. It was the messy, uncomfortable, and absolutely necessary beginning!
The goal for me wasn't just to quit my job. The goal was to finally start listening to myself.
And sometimes, you have to quit to start doing that!
As you can tell, I'm now pouring myself into MindKai and connecting with all of you - because I'm finally in a space where I can... AND I LOOOOOOVE IT!
Do you also want to begin the mindset shift and start hearing your own intuition again?
My journey began by taking a simple selfcare wero which focused on looking after all sides of my health again. If you can give yourself 30-days... you'll be amazed at how you come out the other side and what courage you'll find hiding there!
Download the free selfcare wero now!
Let's cut through the noise and find out what you really want.